As I sit on the apron waiting to take off I find myself reflecting on the past week's events and one in particular stands out. One that may sound silly to some but is of incredible significance to me. So here it is . . . I bought my first deodorant. What?! Come again?! You see, my mom has (had) always bought me deodorant. It was one of those little things she always did. She always bought them in bulk. Since I was 12 and started wearing it I've never bought my own. When I went away to grad school I would come home to stacks on stacks of deodorant, even when I moved to the DC area I would come home and there they were . . . always on my dresser or in my Christmas stocking. Well, I ran out a few weeks ago and I could not bring myself to buy any so I used my hubby's for a while and I hated it but I wasn't ready to go out on my own and buy some. The thought made me sad, sick even but I finally took the leap last week. I walked into the CVS on route 50 in Falls Church, Virginia and bought one. Secret the original powder kind. I've never had to think about what deodorant to wear because my mom always bought the right one. I know it probably makes me sound like a brat but now she's not here and I guess that last stick was like one last remnant of her and now it's gone and it makes me sad because she's gone and she'll never buy me deodorant or anything else again because she's not here. She's gone forever and it sucks. It sucks so hard to not have a mom. So I hold my little ones close every day and hold them tight and I just want to be the best mom. Just like my mom was to me. I love my little men and my little family. That's it. The End.
xoxoxo
No comments:
Post a Comment