Feelings

I've decided to take one day at a time.  I've realized that the only certainty in my future is it's uncertainty.  Sometimes I wake up and I can't believe I'm living such a fulfilling life and I'm so happy, so why do I feel so anxious and sad? Am I scared?  Today I realized that one day I am going to die and I can't fear death anymore.  I'm fearful that I won't be ready and it scares me but I've realized that there's no point in worrying now.  I am healthy and I am happy.   That's all that matters.  My family is happy, my friends are happy , no one is sick.  I should be thankful and be living life to the fullest instead of worrying so much about a future that doesn't exist yet.  I don't want to worry my life away and not enjoy the things around me.  I want to have a family and I want to travel.  I can't let myself get in the way of those things.  A friend used to tell me that I was so emotional and fragile because I never dealt with any hardship in life, I don't think that's true.  I think we all deal with life's punches differently and sometimes certain things affect us more than others.  I am a bit more sensitive and emotional but I realized that those traits have made me more empathetic, and I have learned to enjoy and appreciate things a little more.  I want to have a sound mind and heart.  I should try yoga but I get so anxious during yoga! I feel like I am not breathing properly and I get really light headed.  Each day is so much better than the day before and I have learned to control my feelings a lot better.  I am so happy these days and so grateful.  I need to stop looking for the negative things in life and just focus on the positive.  :)