Love and marriage

. . . go together like a horse and carriage. My parents never let me watch that show. They thought it was too risqué for my young eyes.

V left for the DMV last night. We won't reunite until December 31. I miss him so much already. I cried . . . a lot. I think it's the pregnancy hormones. I cry a lot in general but lately I've been a lot better. I only cry when I'm really sad or scared which only happens like every other week as opposed to every other day but today I felt an immense sadness. He's left before and I don't miss him as much but today I do.  He makes me very happy. So much so it used to upset me. I hated that my happiness was dependent on someone else, but then I realized he makes a better person and I like who I am when I'm with him and he's taught me so much so I'm happy because I like who I've become because of him. We work well together. Being married is a lot of work. We have learned to compromise and we always take each other's thoughts and opinions into consideration before making a decision. Loving him however is effortless. We are equals. Partners in crime! I think being pregnant has made me realize what a better wife and person I want to be.  I feel much more at peace now and a lot more calm if that makes sense.  I can't wait to see him. I'll be 30 weeks then and we'll start our new year together. 2014 will be a much better year. I feel it!

Some of my favorite couple pics . . . taken here, Tangier, Barcelona, Athens and Cairo

Separate Assets, Separate lives?

Is it really fair to join all your assets once you get married?  Two become one, does that include bank accounts?  I acquired a significant debt while in grad school.  My husband worked three jobs to pay for his college tuition, why would I hold him accountable for my six figure school loan?   I want to drive a Mercedes, I pay for it.  Friends are always surprised to find that we have separate bank accounts, someone even referred to us as glorified roommates.  That's because we split all our bills.  We each cover our own expenses and anything we do together we divide evenly.  My husband keeps a spread sheet of all our expenses.  Every first of the month I give him what I owe.  I know it sounds strange, but it works. Even with my shopping problem we each have savings and we don't have any credit card debt.  That's because we hold each other accountable.  Do not buy anything if you can't afford it.  He's a lot riskier with his investments, I'm a bit more conservative.  Of course he tends to be a lot more conservative with his spending habits than me, but I think that's why he can afford to buy me awesome gifts!  When the children  come some things may have to change, but for now why should I have to give up my financial freedom?  Maybe once we have children we'll split them.  He'll cover the expenses for one and I'll cover the expenses for the other.  If we have a third we'll split it down the middle.

String Quartet at our wedding, it was beautiful.  

Marriage

The hardest adjustment was realizing that I was no longer dependent on my parents.  I was on my own.  With a man.  It was crazy!  I remember telling my dad:"it's so weird that I have to share a bed with a man and wake up next to him."  Yes, my dad and I talk about things.  He's the one who told me about the birds and the bees when I was 12.  I went from living at home to having two roommates to living with my husband. I realized that I could no longer depend on my dad the way I used to, now I had a life long partner.   The only man I ever trusted was my father.  I knew that no matter what happened at the end of the day he was going to love me and protect me.  Would the new man in my life do the same? Would he love me enough to deal with my imperfections?  It was so hard for me to believe that this new man could love me so much after so many didn't.  So far marriage is all that I've wanted it to be.  I realize that not every day is going to be perfect but communication, respect and compromise are key.  I'm learning not to dwell in the past, instead learn from it and move forward.  I hope that our bond grows stronger, that we always see the good in each other and that we love hard.  Isn't that all we want? Love? Someone to love us?